Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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