Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?

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(219): View more from Indiana

I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.

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(913): View more from Kansas

The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister

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(443): View more from Maryland

i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country

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(917): View more from New York City

She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.

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(940): View more from Texas

Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?

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(949): View more from California

I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth

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