roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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