Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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