I wish I only lived at night.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
