Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
