I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
