That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
