KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
