I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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