Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
