too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
