Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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