she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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