we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Randomize
