He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
3 2 1 whiskey
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
