you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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