that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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