We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
