I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Nicole vs. Life
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
