last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
