If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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