dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
