I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
