i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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