I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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