we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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