take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
