is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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