....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
