You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
