I'm jealous of your bromance
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Randomize
