That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Someone signed my nipple.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
