Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
