That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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