I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Operation Purity has been aborted
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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