new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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