i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
