I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
