ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Randomize
