are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
