She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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