Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
