The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
