Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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