It's Friday. Sex?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
