Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
