cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
