; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
