So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
There r osticjed everywhere
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
